I'm not sure I understand my wife's attitude toward my efforts?

We've had some ups and downs over the past year or so. I haven't been the best husband, getting angry sometimes when she demands a lot of attention or complains a lot. For her part she's spent time flirting with other guys and insulting me, though she insists the other guys mean nothing and they're after her, and the insults are just jokes. We've had a few real blow ups. My issue is over the years I've purchased a number of books about how to keep your wife happy and how to be a good husband. Some about how to please her in bed and others about communication and making her happy. She says she wanted me to read these and I have. Not sure if they helped. But she has never done the same. She doesn't seem to put the effort into wanting to improve things and seems like she's satisfied about how things go. I've pointed this out to her before. Well I did again a few days ago when she complained that I was being too aggressive in my job search and I should want to find work that lets me stay home a lot and focus on her and our future kids. I pointed out that I already put a lot of effort into the relationship and mentioned the books I've bought and spent time reading. She just sort of laughed and said, "Oh, yeah, those" in reference to the books. What gives? She said she wanted me to focus on her, read those books and all, and now she just sees them as a joke or something. Can someone explain this to me? What have I done wrong here?